Why Can't I
by cindysark
Summary: Oliver takes for granted the role Felicity plays in his life, but seeing her in another man's arms might be just the wake-up call he needs.


**This oneshot originated from an anonymous prompt on my tumblr (canttake-thesky) that asked: _Could you write a little one shot along the lines of oliver and felicity being out on the town and running into one of felicity's exes? :)_. I had such a hard time with this, ultimately rewriting it twice and I'm still not happy with the flow of it. I hope it at least satisfies a little of what you wanted in your prompt, nonny! Thanks for sending it my way!**

**Also, warning for some sexual content. They sort of got away from me at the end there, the crazy kids.**

**I don't own any of this and I'm not making any money...**

* * *

Oliver's hands clenched under the table and his jaw creaked under the pressure as he gritted his teeth. He wasn't sure why he felt this way, but he didn't know how to stop it. He forced himself to take a deep breath and relax his fingers, grab his fork, and take a bite of the meal in front of him. It tasted like sawdust in his mouth but he chewed and swallowed, immediately following that bite with another. The giggle next to him had him tensing again and this time he gave in and set his fork down again, excusing himself from the business dinner to find a quiet hallway.

He rested his head against the wall in the dim light, breathing through his nose and out through his mouth for long beats and reflected on what had changed in the last hour.

He and Felicity had been having a great time. It was their first time traveling together since returning from the island and they had banded together to get through the series of business meetings they had traveled to Metropolis to attend. Oliver hadn't regretted for a second inviting Felicity along. She had entertained him on the jet, even when she was gripping his arm so tightly during takeoff he was afraid she would leave the permanent marks of her fingers on his skin. And when she fell asleep on his shoulder after sampling the jet's supply of champagne ('for science, Oliver. How will I know if champagne when drunk from crystal glasses in a private jet really does taste better if I don't test it for myself?'), he had felt… charmed.

They had made it through the meetings together and were sitting down for a final dinner with the head of the company he had been looking into, along with some key players, when it had happened. Felicity's squeal as they walked into the restaurant had startled him and the hand that had casually rested at the small of her back had fallen away as she rushed forwards… straight into another man's arms.

He watched as they kissed each other on the cheek and watched even closer as the man placed his hands just where Oliver's had been and then even lower. That was the exact moment the tension started in Oliver's body. It continued to grow as Felicity dragged the man over to him and introduced him as, "Daniel Brown, and old and dear friend of mine. This is Oliver Queen, my boss."

Oliver bristled at being relegated to just her 'boss', somehow feeling like that was an insult to what they were to each other, though if he was being honest with himself, he didn't really know how to classify _what _they were to each other. He was a damn sight more than her boss, though.

Oliver accepted Daniel's hand, only squeezing it a little harder than necessary and gave him his very best fake smile, the one he reserved for members of the press and socialites who had had too much to drink at his club. To his credit, Daniel only winced a little and smiled back, saying, "Lissy and I go way back. We actually used to date at MIT." He turned his smile on Felicity and Oliver had to force himself to let the man's hand go before he did damage.

At the time, Oliver hadn't been sure what his problem had been. As the night wore on and Felicity continued to reminisce with Daniel, even going so far as to sit next to him at dinner and all but ignore Oliver, he started to get the picture.

He was jealous.

Now Oliver was no stranger to jealousy. He had always been a possessive sort of person. Growing up, he had guarded his belongings hard and his friends even harder. It was no coincidence that he had been Tommy's only close friend. So no, Oliver knew a thing or two about the green eyed monster… no pun intended.

This felt different, though. This felt… uncomfortable. Maybe it was because Oliver had always taken for granted that Felicity was, for all intents and purposes, his. She was _his _Girl Friday, _his _Executive Assistant, _his _sidekick as the Arrow, _his_… He had never given any thought to her activities when she wasn't with him because those moments lately were so few and far between. He never allowed himself to think of her past, especially when it came to men, or her future if it didn't involve him.

Now, even as he could hear her tinkling laugh from where he stood, he was being slapped in the face with the fact that Felicity wasn't actually his in every way that counted and there was a very real possibility that she never would be.

That last thought made Oliver pause. He didn't even know if he wanted that from her. He knew she was was a beautiful woman, had recognized it from the moment he walked into her office for the first time. He had even had the occasional fantasy of what it would be like to explore what she looked like under all those tight dresses she had taken to favoring. And sure, those fantasies had become more and more frequent in recent months, along with the occasional dream that had him waking in a cold sweat, but that didn't mean he wanted her in that way. Did it?

He allowed himself to think of the alternative. What if she found someone else? What if she rekindled whatever had been between her and this Daniel person? Unbidden, an image of her pressed up against a wall, head thrown back with a look of lust on her face came to him. It was the same dream he'd had of her that morning, but instead of his hands gripping her hips, they were Daniel's. Instead of his lips on her neck, Daniel was sucking gently at her pulse point and staring at him, smirking lightly against her skin.

Oliver's eyes flew open and a gasp left his mouth as the image faded. His clenched fist met the wall behind him with such force he was sure he had left a dent in the plaster. He couldn't stand the thought of another man's hands on Felicity. He couldn't stand the thought that maybe he had missed his opportunity to have this amazing woman in his life in the way that would have mattered the most.

He just didn't know what to do about it.

Scrubbing his hands over his face, he prepared himself to go back to the meeting, fake some more pleasantries, maybe ignore the entire thing. But when he dropped his hands, there she was. He was startled by her sudden presence and his new perspective had him looking at her in a new way, or at least letting him acknowledge what he had always pushed to the back of his mind whenever he was with her. Flushed cheeks, hair tousled and just beginning to gain back a little bit of curl, bright lips that were currently being bitten…

He almost groaned at that last part and had to shake himself internally to chase away the thought of what it would be like to be the one doing the biting. He focused back on her and noted that she now had a concerned expression on her face.

"Oliver, are you okay? Dinner is nearly done and you've been back here for a while. Is it… the other stuff? Are we having an emergency?"

Oliver sighed and couldn't resist putting his hand on her shoulder. His new awareness had him noting how soft her skin felt there and the goosebumps that immediately appeared under his touch. He knew she wasn't unaffected by him and for a moment he had hope. "Everything's alright. I just got overwhelmed for a minute. I'm good to go now."

She didn't look fooled. "Really, because it looks like you're about to go all hulk on some unsuspecting villain, and I have to tell you Oliver, I'm really hoping you don't because I just bought this dress and being your sidekick always destroys my clothes."

Oliver waited the beat it always took for her mind to catch up with her mouth, noting that yes, it was a great dress but no, he actually wouldn't mind destroying it. Before his thoughts could take him even further down that path or her inevitably adorable attempt to backpedal could get going, he derailed them both by looking her in the eye and saying, "I'm positive, Felicity."

Still looking a little unsure, Felicity gave him a half smile and replied, "Well, if you're sure. You should be able to just say your goodbyes and head back to the hotel, though. It looks like everyone is wrapping up."

Oliver dropped his hand from her shoulder and frowned. "What do you mean? Are you not coming with me?"

At that, she looked sheepish and turned her gaze down to study her bright blue toes just visible peeking out of her peep-toe shoes. "Um, well no. Daniel invited me to go have a drink with him after dinner to catch up on old times and I agreed. You'll be okay without me, right?"

She looked up, and despite the fact that his heart had dropped into his own toes, he did something he would kick himself for later. He lied. "I'll be just fine. Have a good time."

He didn't even wait for her to reply, but swung on a heel and marched out of the hallway. He spend the barest minimum amount of time saying goodbye, just enough time to make it socially acceptable to make his exit. He studiously avoided Felicity and Daniel as they made their goodbyes as well, definitely not noticing the way Daniel's hand lingered on her lower back as they walked to the front door. He also didn't acknowledge the concerned look Felicity shot his way just before they went their separate ways.

Oliver slid into the back of the town car, momentarily regretting telling Digg to stay home and make some appearances as the Hood in his absence. He could have used an outlet for the energy coursing through him and if he couldn't don green leather and go jumping across roof-tops, a training session would have been the next best thing.

Instead, he directed his driver to bring him to the hotel where he and Felicity had a two bedroom suite for the night. He made his way up to the top floor, keyed himself into the spacious living area, and sank into the cream colored couch, not bothering to turn any lights on.

There he sat, brooding over what Felicity might be doing now. Was she still laughing with him? Had she drunk enough to get to that stage where she didn't hesitate to reach out and run a hand down his arm, something Oliver had seen only a few times in the time he had known her. But then he remembered, Felicity didn't have to be reserved with Daniel. It had been pretty clear that they had known each other… very well. She didn't have to hold back with him, not like she did with Oliver. Would she act on that? Would she go home with him this night and-"

A growl tore out of him from the back of his throat, but he forced himself to remain sitting. If he got up now, there was no telling what he would do. He might destroy the hotel room, or track Felicity down and drag her back to the room, cave man style. Neither alternative was acceptable, nor were any of the other dozen outlets for his feelings that came to him. So he sat.

Oliver didn't know how long he stayed there in the dark. After a while his mind went comfortably numb and he slipped into a state he had spent a lot of the time he had been alone on the island in. He supposed it was his own form of meditation.

A noise at the door brought him out of it. His body tensed and he evaluated area, marking potential weapons and exit points. When Felicity slipped through the door holding her shoes in one hand and her keycard in the other, instead of relaxing, Oliver tensed even more.

He didn't know what it meant that she was here in the hotel room. She didn't go home with Daniel, which was good, but a quick glance at the clock showed that it was past two in the morning, so what did that mean?

Before he could stop himself, he gruffly asked her, "Why are you back so late?"

Felicity squeaked, jumped about a foot in the air, and threw her shoes at him. In any other circumstances he would have laughed at the expression on her face as he casually dodged the heels, but he was too focused on her answer. He needed to know what had happened. Had they slept together? Was she going to see him again? Had he lost her?

He strode around the couch and got up in her personal space, asking again in a low voice, "where have you been? Do you realize what time it is?"

He could see it when the surprise faded in her eyes, despite the dark room and watched as it was replaced by anger. She shoved him back from her, or attempted to at least, only succeeding in moving herself away from him. Drawing herself up a little taller, she replied, "I don't know what your problem is, but I've got a newsflash for you, Queen: I don't answer to you! You may be my boss, but I don't have to account to you for the time I spend while not on the clock."

She attempted to turn and walk away but clearly Oliver hadn't mastered those cave-man tendencies he had been feeling earlier and so he grabbed her arm and whirled her back to face him. She spun so fast that she only stopped when she was pressed against his chest. Her face was a mixture of surprise and indignation, but he could see the stirrings of lust at being so close to him as well.

Without stopping to think, he banded an arm around her lower back, splaying his hand low on her hip, and pulled her in more, bending to whisper in her ear, "did you sleep with him?" He knew he had crossed a major line, but after the thoughts that had consumed him all night, he was beyond the point of caring.

She reared back as far as she could, admittedly not very with his arm still holding her to him and brought a hand up to strike him. He easily caught it and instead brought it to his lips, laying an open mouth kiss on the palm.

Felicity's mouth dropped open in a silent O and her eye shuttered. Some of the tension drained from her, causing her to melt into him more and suddenly he didn't care if she had slept with anyone else tonight. She was here against him, warm and soft, her lips inches from his, and he couldn't hold back anymore.

Their first kiss was nothing like he would have imagined it. There was nothing gentle about it, nothing tentative. They came together like magnets, mouths open and slanted against each other. Felicity shook her hand loose from his hold and wound it around the back of his neck, scraping her nails against the nape of it. His hand also went to the back of her head to tangle in her curls, and his other slid lower to palm her and pull her closer against him.

She gasped into his mouth as he rocked into her and the noise prompted him to bend a little without letting her go and pick her up so she could wind her legs around him. There was no hesitation on her part. She had been angry at him seconds ago, probably justifiably, but now he knew she was as all in as he was.

He carried her through the suite to his bedroom, pausing in kissing her only long enough to make sure they didn't fall. She pulled back from him a little and the sight of her took his breath away, all tousled hair and lips slightly swollen and red, her usually perfect lipstick smeared. She had a wide-eyed, unsure expression on her face and Oliver knew she needed an explanation for this. He also knew he had no intention of stopping to give her one right now.

Dropping her gently to the bed under them, he slid her back and followed her until they were in the middle, his frame pressing her into the soft mattress. She took a breath and whispered, "Oliver, what-" but his lips were covering hers again before she could continue.

Her protest died in her throat as he pulled at her lips, arching her back when he slid his hands beneath her to find the zipper of her dress. In the next moment he had it undone and had pulled away to kneel between her spread legs. He pulled the dress away from her and only allowed himself a second to marvel at the smooth skin he uncovered before he was pressed against her again, this time laving kisses across her collarbone and shoulders.

Moving lower, he nudged the cup of her strapless bra down and breathed on the nipple he uncovered, glancing up to find her staring at him like he might disappear any second. Without looking away from her face, he bent and sucked at her, drawing her in and swirling his tongue against her until she threw her head back and let out a hoarse cry.

Satisfied with her reaction, he nosed his way over to the other peak and did the same thing, this time adding teeth into the mix that had her squirming under him in the best way. His hands, which had been pressed into the mattress on either side of her, found her sides and slid lower, pausing at the dip between her waist and hip before finding the top of her underwear and sliding them lower. He reluctantly pulled away from her to finish pulling them down her long legs and then just sat and admired, this time allowing himself the time to notice the little freckle above her belly button and the way her hip bone created the perfect little spot for his lips. He also admired the way her bra framed her where it stayed pushed down but then reached down to unclasp it and pull it away, leaving her naked under him.

Felicity was clenching the sheets next to her, but when he dipped his head to test his theory about that spot, her hands shot out to hold him to her and the mewl that came from her throat had him speeding up his timeline. He had wanted to take his time with her, show her how he felt through his actions since he was never very good with words, but he couldn't wait anymore.

He sat back, ignoring the grunt of protest from her and made quick work of his own clothes. Seconds later, he was back on the bed, chest to chest with her and grinding himself against her. He swallowed her gasp as he claimed her mouth again and groaned himself when he felt her hands smooth down the length of his back to rest against his ass.

Their bodies had already found a rhythm together, so it only took a slight nudge and suddenly they were joined. Felicity called out his name and arched her hips against him and he stilled for a moment, marveling at the woman underneath him, cursing himself for waiting as long as he had to reach this moment with her. Everything about this was right, and he hoped she felt the same way.

He leaned back a little, keeping his hips pressed against her. She protested, but he shushed her and couldn't help whispering her name. Her eyes softened, one hand coming up to pull him down into a kiss. She flexed her hips and he took that as a cue to move, slowly at first and then faster until he didn't know where he ended and she began.

He felt consumed by her, every part of him touching every part of her and he never wanted it to end. She was sighing and breathing into the kiss they still shared, but she was otherwise quiet, a surprise to him because her mouth tended to run away from her in every other setting.

Oliver felt her tensing against him, knowing she was getting closer to that edge, so he pulled away from the kiss and snaked a hand between them splaying a palm low against her belly so he could slip his thumb between them to play at her just above where they were joined. He watched her face as her mouth dropped open and her neck flushed pink, groaning at the feel of her fluttering around him. He pressed hard against her once, then twice, and they were falling together, crying out in the dark room as they shook.

It took Oliver long moments, beats of their hearts racing together, before he came back to himself. Felicity was still moving beneath him, rocking and gasping for breath and he knew he had never seen or felt anything so beautiful.

Only just managing to keep himself from collapsing on top of her, Oliver rolled to the side, keeping her as close to him as he could. He didn't know when he would be ready to let her go, but he knew it wouldn't be anytime soon. He had gone through the what ifs of losing her tonight and now that he had her here in his arms he needed her close to chase the last of those thoughts away.

Felicity pulled back a little, bringing her hand up to run a finger over the stubble coating his jaw. He could see the questions in her eyes, the uncertainty, and cursed himself for not being able to find the words to let her know what this meant to him.

She licked her lips and cleared her throat a little before saying, "Not that I'm complaining, but what brought this on? Why now? Is this just a one time thing? What… what was this?"

Oliver gently grasped the hand that was still against his face and brought it around, again kissing her palm, this time gently. He took a moment to gather his thoughts and then lowered their hands until they were clasped together between them. At the beginning of the night, his thoughts had been possessive, jealous to the point of anger. Now, all he could feel was owned by this woman in his arms and he struggled to find the words to tell her what she meant to him.

"I watched you with another man tonight and I realized what an idiot I've been, a blind idiot really. I had a glimpse of what I'm missing out on and I don't know… I finally saw what had been staring at me straight in the face. I'm sorry it took me so long and I'm sorry it took seeing you in another man's arms. I'm… I'm not good at all of this but I'd like to try because I can't picture us going back now. I need you in my life in all the ways that matter, in every way…"

He trailed off after that, feeling awkward and vulnerable, but she didn't leave him hanging long. Pulling their joined hands up, she turned his hand to lay a kiss against his palm the same way he'd done to her. Pulling back, she gave him a brilliant smile and bit her lip a little.

"It's about damn time, Queen."

* * *

**If you have a moment, please let me know what you thought! It keeps me writing. Thanks for reading 3**


End file.
